If you will indulge me for a few minutes, I’d like to share my coming out story with you. Grab a glass of pink lemonade and settle in.

Many of my friends and I have shared our coming out stories, and let me tell you, for quite a few of us that closet was tightly closed for a very long time. It took me until I was 30 (just a few short years ago 😉) to finally break free.

As many of you know, my wonderful mom Gerry passed away when I was just 19. She was my very best friend and my protector. I believe she knew I was gay all along (most moms do) and always covered for me. I loved joining her at the beauty parlor and helping her pick out her outfits from a young age. Of course, she fostered my passion for the divas and we sang show tunes together daily. My favorite was our now famous duet of “Don’t Rain on My Parade." Yes, my mom’s motto for life was ‘don’t let anyone rain on your parade,’ and while I tried to live that way, once she died, everything changed.

Unfortunately, my dad didn’t understand it and really pushed me to be the kind of man he envisioned his son to be. I believe now he was trying to protect me in his own way. My parents were called into school quite often because I was being bullied or I was refusing to take gym (I was so scared, but I also really wanted to take home economics in its place). After my mom died, things got worse. So, I snuck deeply into the closet and stayed there for the next 12 years.

There were many years of women, sports, and ‘manly activities,’ but honestly, I knew who I was and my secret life was getting emotionally out of control. I knew what I had to do, and I also knew that I could lose my family and friends in the process. On the eve of my 30th birthday, Michael, my then boyfriend (very handsome, I might add), gave me an ultimatum: come out, acknowledge me to your family and start leading a public life, or I’m out of here.

That very night, I broke the news to my brother and sister-in-law, Ricky and Heidi. I will never forget Heidi dropping the phone and screaming to my brother, “I knew it! He’s gay!” My brother’s reaction was a bit politically incorrect, but I knew in my heart he loved and accepted me. Next was my dad, and sadly, that didn’t go so well. He told me he couldn’t embrace my lifestyle and didn’t talk to me for almost 10 years.

The next night at my fabulous 30th birthday party, I came out to the world and introduced Michael to everyone. In one moment, my secret was out and the euphoria I felt was incredible. What had been my problem was now the problem of anyone who didn’t support me, and honestly, I knew they wouldn’t be in my life very much longer. Sadly, Michael and I parted ways about a year later, but I will always be grateful to him.

Now, looking back on the last 30 plus years (trying to avoid telling you how old I am), I believe being a proud gay man has enhanced my life in ways I could have never imagined. I have a wonderful career, the respect of my peers, and a family and friend group that continues to show me unconditional love and support. And I now have the unique honor of being the uncle/dad to another proud and successful gay man, my nephew, Zach. Putting it quite simply, he is an awesome person who I love with all my heart.

This year more than ever, the voices of our community and our allies must ring louder than ever before. It seems in some states that the world is stepping back in time. Legislation to prevent us from living our authentic lives has been introduced and of course this is not only alarming but f@#$*%-ing crazy. We must fight to keep our closest doors wide open!

Each of us has a unique story and something that we struggle with, live with, or hope to overcome. It takes amazing courage to be who you are meant to be. Sometimes a very loving reminder that we are supported and we are accepted is just what we need to keep going. After all, we were all born this way!

Loads of love,
Andrew, Dolly and the team